A See You Later

There I was, standing in our shared room looking at my best friends sitting and laughing. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but just looking at them laugh, made me feel complete. They are like my lifelines. I wouldn’t have survived the two years of college if it weren’t for them. Suddenly the walls of the room started to crumble down, my two best friends also started to fade away, the room started spinning. I didn’t understand what was happening and I felt panic and dread filling up my heart and felt as if I was being choked. Then my eyes shot open and I took a deep breath. My dream had taken me back to our dorm room. I miss them so much; it’s like a part of my heart is missing.

This pandemic hit us hard. All our plans shattered just like our hearts.

We had first met on the 28th of August 2018, in Singapore, for our first year of college. The moment I had set foot in the campus my mind was riddled with doubts; will I make friends? I won’t be a loner, right? Who will be my roommates? Will I get along with them? and I didn’t know how to answer any of these questions. But, God gave me these two as my roommates as my support through college. The first year of college was a bliss. And we had to leave each other with promises of the next year. Even though it was not a goodbye but a see you later, it was difficult to stop our tears.

The second year i.e. Dubai. Well, Dubai was kind of hard. But the abrupt end; coronavirus took our plans away. In Dubai, we realised that we only had one year left with each other.

Due to the different courses, we would be separated. I was going to Sydney for my third year while the two were going to stay in Dubai. So, we decided to make the full of this year. First four months of the academic year went by in a click. The next thing we knew, only four months were left for this academic year to end. We made plans of staying back in Dubai for an extra three months to do our internship once the four months of the academic year ended. All we wanted was a little more time together. We wanted a proper goodbye. But, little did we know that coronavirus will take our goodbyes away. We had come back home for just a seven-day vacation, not for six months and a lifetime of video calls. We didn’t want online classes or online farewell; we wanted a chance to be together and hug our sorrows away before going our different ways. But, thank you pandemic, you took that away. We never got our closure.

Yes, I know that college is supposed to be hard. But that to me always meant that college was supposed to be hard in terms of studying. It wasn’t that hard in terms of studying as it was for parting ways with my friends. And I was not prepared for it. College gave me a new family. And the pandemic didn’t let me spend six more months with my family.

As angry as I am about it; I am also grateful for it. This lockdown prepared me to stay away from them in advance. It would have been tough to say bye, as much as I wanted the opportunity to say bye, it saved me from a lot of pain. Maybe even saved me from months of heartbreak.

It helped me grow and realise that it was never going to be a goodbye. We will be connected, and they’ll just be a call away. They’ll be with me throughout. I will still be able to turn to them in times of trouble. I will still be able to count on them.

We are not saying goodbye. We are just growing to be a person we can be proud of. Carrying on with our lives with a hope in our heart that one day we’ll hug each other again.